Ah, yes. Seventh grade. I remember it as if it was three years ago.. wait.. it was.. Who gives a fuck. Anyways, in seventh grade, I met one of my best friends, Tiera. And Tiera at lunch one day introduced me to one of her elementary friends, Randy. Now, when I first say Randy, I noticed his big, brown, Saint Bernard puppy eyes. They were the deepest and darkest and prettiest brown I had ever seen. Anyways, the way I was introduced to Randy was by Tiera getting me to help her tease him. And so I did. I teased him from that day on about the stupidest and silliest things. Another friend Cheyenne came up with the nickname Randiferd for him. We called him that all the time to get on his nerves. Over time, I started to develop a crush on him. But I didn't tell anyone. It wasn't a major crush. Plus, I had a boyfriend. So I just let it go.
The summer time came, and I forgot about my crush on him. It wasn't that important anyways.
When eighth grade came, I hardly paid attention to him because I had forgot about him. I mean, yea, I still teased him here and there every once in a while. But not as much. Him and one of my very good friends Eadie started dating. I was kind of jealous, but not really. I was happy for them. They were a cute couple. About a week after they started dating, me and Mark started dating. So, once again, I forgot all about Randy.
The day we went to get out for Christmas break, I thought about Randy again for the first time in a while. Mark and I weren't getting along, so the thought of Randy just fluttered into my mind. So I turned to Cheyenne in class and said "Hey give me Randy's number. I want it." And she tried sending his contact info to me, but all it sent was his name. Not his number. So when I got home that night, I asked Tiera for it, and she gave it to me. And right away, my first message was "Hey dorkface ". And he asked who it was, I told him, we teased for a little while. I asked him how him and Eadie were. He asked me how me and Mark were. Then he asked me who I liked besides Mark.
Now, I still liked Randy. And I am NOT the person to tell people I like them. So I said I liked someone else and then asked him the same question. He said "Well of course I like Eadie. I kind of like Payton too. But I still like you. Yes, I liked you in seventh grade. I thought you were cute."
I flipped out.
Then I put my phone aside for the night to play a video game (BAATMAAAAN). The next morning, he had texted me good morning. He was on his way to Virginia for Christmas and he wanted me to talk to him to keep him unbored on the way there. And I did. But we didn't tease. We just normal talked.
I forgot exactly what he said, but I said "Oh shut up! Do it and I'll slap you!" Well he said, "Go right ahead! You and Jessica already jumped on my dick the other day!"
Which, yea. In a class where we weren't doing anything, Jessica and I tackled him to the ground a few days before we got out for school
And I said, "Oh shut up. You enjoyed it and you know it!" He said, "Well, if it was just you, honestly I'd have urges." "Urges to do what?" "Well um.. Honestly I'd have urges to have sex with you."
I was like "LOLWAT"
He asked me if I would let him do it and I said I would if it ever came to that. o///o
I don't really remember what happened after that. All I do remember is that he was very upset and said how people hate him and don't care about him. I tried telling him I did but he didn't believe me.
And that's when I did it.
I promised my virginity to him.
After that moment, every other conversation with him was about sex. What we would do. Where we would go. When we would do it. How many times.
Just all the details of it.
Well, anyways, about a week later, I got my phone taken because I had been sleeping with it so I could reply in the middle of the night xD My mom read a sexual message he had sent overnight and went off on me. What made things worse is that her and Eadie's AUNT were very good friends in high school. So of course she notified her and Eadie found out. I was a nervous wreck going back to school. What would Eadie say? Who all would she tell?
When I got back to school, she didn't seem upset. Apparently he had told her that it was his cousin that had been talking to me about the sex and stuff. I was kind of embarrassed because I believed it.
I didn't dare look at Randy for about a week. It was so awkward. I told Cheyenne and my other friend Sami about what happened. I trusted them. Anyways, then next week, we had a pep rally. Randy is a trumpet player (he was first chair, which is the best, at the time) so he stood in the front. I was in the second row of bleachers sitting next to Cheyenne. And she waved to him and he waved back. She turned to me and told me to wave. And I waved a really shy wave and smiled. And he waved back with the biggest smile on his face. That just brought up my mood. When we were leaving to go home that day, him and Eadie were walking behind me and as I was walking, I felt a small pain in my head. Someone had tugged on my hair. And I turned to see him with a small lock of my hair in between his fingers and Eadie giggling her butt off. I giggled and snatched my hair back, punched him in the arm and walked away. Him and I were back to our old ways. Just teasing.
Months went by, and my feelings for him started getting stronger. I tried holding them back but it was hard.
One Friday, the gifted program went on a field trip. So Eadie wasn't at school. When we went out to "recess", it was just me and Cheyenne. I was upset because a student had some things to me and it had hurt my feelings. He came over to me and kept asking what was the matter. I was aggravated and I went off on him and I hurt his feelings. He was upset and I felt bad. So I wrote kind of like an apology note and gave it to Cheyenne to text to him since I didn't have a phone. He replied to me on Monday with a note. And that's when we started passing notes in the halls.
It went on for about two weeks. I got sixteen notes. I have fourteen. I lost two of them.
Anyways, the last note I wrote to him he was reading in class and Eadie saw it and took it and read it. And the next day I found out she knew. I was literally running down the hallways because I was afraid. Sami was protecting me, watching my back. When we went to last period, which is the class I have with both of them. I usually get in that class first so when I got in there, Sami and I looked around for the best hiding spot. I tried hiding in a group of people but she came in and saw me.
First, the bitch grabbed me by my hair. Then my shoulder, and pinned me down. She got up next to my ear and said "If you ever talk to Randy again, I'll kill you."
So I was a mess. I didn't eat, sleep, or drink for three days.
The next day after she pinned me down, she went off on me again. And I went to see the counselor because Sami had told our band director (thank God she did) and he told the office. I told them everything.
Anyways, a couple days later, Eadie and I talked calmly and sorted things out. She seemed okay, but I think she still wanted to kill me.
And believe me, I know I was in the wrong. I know I shouldn't have done all that stuff.
Anyways, yea, they broke up, yadda yadda yadda. Anyways, I got my phone back during the summer, and texted him apologizing. And he didn't have anything to say. He just gave me one word responses. Apparently after that his phone broke.
In August, at the football game against his school, since we went to separate schools, I cried because seeing him brought back horrible memories. Later I found out he actually wanted to talk to me. So I got his number, and asked him what he wanted to talk to me about.
He said "who's this?" I said "Makayla.." He said "Oh okay......"
and after those dots I got four of the longest, sweetest, and most genuine paragraphs apologizing. I just melted into him. We became friends and talked every once in a while..
Later on that October, Sami and I started dating..
And after we broke up I was very sad, and heartbroken. I turned to him for help, and he did help me through it.
In December, I got courage from Jessica, and asked him if we wanted to go to the Winter formal dance (dude the way I asked was hilarious, I was so nervous)
He couldn't because of his mom. But after that we just started a conversation, I don't remember what it was about. And after that conversation.. It never stopped.
We got so much closer. We were both single. We got even more wrapped up in each other this time. I was his babygirl. He greeted me everymorning with a good morning. He called me beautiful. He treated me like a princess. He would tease and be silly. He told me he loved me all the time. We stayed up all night with each other until one of us fell asleep. We talked about getting married and having a baby. A girl we wanted to name Isabelle Delany Blevins.
And yes. We talked about sex again too. More into detail too.
In about February, we got into a horrible fight, and I actually stayed up that night talking him out of suicide. After that, we had small arguments often. They always got better, but still. We still fought.
He told me it was best if we weren't together because he would end up hurting me. I tried talking him out of it and it worked. We got better. We still loved each other. But.. his phone broke again.
I was sad because I missed talking to him. And I hoped he was okay.
I went to their band concert at their school, mainly to see Sami since she asked me to come. He was there, but we hardly spoke. I thought maybe it was because he was sick (which he was. He was VERY sick).
Anyways, three days ago from today he texted me. He once again told me he couldn't be with me. He wanted to rethink his life. He wanted to date someone closer to home maybe. I was very sad.. I used to be the only one he ever thought about.. now I was no one.
The next day, I ask him to be my best friend. It would be nice if we were still friends. He said he would but he was now dating Payton.. a girl who doesn't like me because of the drama last year. I didn't care, because I was happy he was happy.
Later that night, he texts me this above..
And now, it's over.. I'm guessing Payton is making him not talk to me.. but There is nothing I can do.
I am determined to be stronger.. I will miss him though..
I am very upset.. considering I sent him nudes o//o
;~; Gurl I know how you feel. I've been through this stuff too. I'm glad you want to become stronger. I hope you become an inspiration for many, cus you have literally just inspired me to be stronger too XD I want to bitch slap this girl Payton if I ever meet her (probly not but oh well) and I want to slap Randy for being so dumb and not choosing you ;~; gawd the feels.
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